Reason For All That I Do
by MaraudersAtHeart
Summary: Remus has gradually realized he's in love with Sirius, will he ever get the courage to speak out? ON HOLD.
1. Chocolate

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize. I am getting no profit from this. This wonderful world of Harry Potter belongs to the beautiful and talented J.

* * *

**The Reason for all that I do **

**Chapter 1: **Chocolate

The Clouds get darker, and I find myself in a world of pain. I step back in fear, but the moons to strong. I did not even take my potion...What am I going to do? I thought the Full Moon was next week. Not to night. I see James and Sirius hovering above me. I looked around and I'm on the floor now. Must have fallen...But the way the boys are talking – more like mouthing – I cannot hear anything but my heart, its racing a mile a minute.

I look back at my two best friends, they seem to be fading. I'm looking at them. Before I shut my eyes tight as I feel a rush of pain go over me. When I open my eyes, I'm not in the Shrieking Shack anymore I appear to be standing near a tree. I look around, and scream out my bets friends' names...but no one seems to hear me. I don't understand, this isn't right.

I start walking and look around frantically as I can see the moon in the distance, but I'm not transforming. It's not right...but I have to find the boys first.

"Moony" It sounded like James, but far away. I start to walk towards the sound as my legs jiggle a bit and feel rather wobbly. I drop to the ground as pain fills my body. I try not to scream out in pain. I look up at the moon fearfully. I know it's going to happen. Yet why is it taking so long?

I close my eyes and accept what is about to happen. I can hear distant screams and yells telling me not to close my eyes. Telling me that I have to be strong, and also reminding me that the full moon is trying to overpower me and my will. But that what full moons do right? Take your right thinking and change you into a monster, in merely seconds I won't be able to know or think through what I am doing.

I'll be a slave to the moon once again...Slave to the Creature, Monster inside of me.

The last thing I hear before my world goes black is the very person that calms my soul. Sirius. I can't quite hear what he's saying though...

Does it really matter?

As I start to regain consciousness I begin to see that I'm in neither the Forbidden Forest nor the Shrieking Shack or anywhere but my dorm. In my bed. I look around me as my eyes blink getting used to the dim light. I sit up rather confused...That really wasn't just any nightmare...more one in between a Dream and a Nightmare. I don't know which I'd call it...

But that was some weird dream...

How did the sound of Sirius' voice calm me, yes I remember the dream completely. It wasn't pleasant neither was it unpleasant. It was just weird, the sound of Sirius' voice made me feel better. Though a part of me wasn't feeling good.

He was so close in a transformation, even if it was just a dream. I'd most likely dream that I've hurt him. That makes me so upset and ashamed to be me.

I'm A Monster nothing else to be said...As I cover my face in my hands shaking my head ashamed. As my eyes peer through the holes in between my fingers, I see the one thing that makes me smile.  
It may not be much...but the thought counts.

Its small, but the thought really is there. I could go up to him and hug him for being such a great friend. With that, I know that he's a caring friend. He understands...  
Sure Progs does too, but would he go to a store full of people who weren't pure blooded. (Not that I believe my best friend to hate the ones who aren't pure. I'm not really...)

He knows exactly which ones my favourite. He always strives to get it for me. I tell him any is fine (Sometimes I tell him not to get it at all, But does he listen?)

I scoot over closer to my bedside table. I look at the small block, covered in nice packaging.  
I smile at the thought Padfoot put in it. I Know He Cares.  
I pick up the small block of delicious Chocolate and break a piece off. I can already taste the chocolate.  
I take a small bite as my lips curve into another smile.

I broke off another small piece eating it. At least it wasn't like every other nightmare where I am scared to death. Normally about killing my friends or changing them, accidently making them one just like me, a monster. I would really be upset if I did do that. That's why the stupid repeating dream scares me to no end.

I signed once I realised I would not be sharing it with Sirius tonight. Sometimes Sirius was already up and ready to wake me up. But I only know this because he's told me. He promised not to tell Progs about these nights. (Aka. how sissy I am.) Sirius says I'm not sissy, but I know I am.

I look back over at my bedside table which also had my alarm clock on it. I look and see that it's about 4:15AM. I know if I lie back down and close my eyes, the nightmares might just welcome me back. Torture me a little more. Maybe I did deserve that?

After all my father hates me to my very core, the reason he has not killed me yet or even disowned me is because my mother is loving, though she is also scared of my father. It's horrible, my father likes to torture me, and on full moons he does not let me take my potion and locks me in the cellar.

But it's his fault all his fault...

I close my eyes as I remember that horrible night when I was five...  
Tears are streaming down my cheeks by this point because I remember my very first transformation. My mother (being a Muggle) was shocked, though less shocked when my father told her he was a Wizard.  
(He really had been, nice, before I became a werewolf.)

Tats why it makes you really think, do you believe that a nice and loving father can turn on his son for something the man did?

I'll never admit it really...but I know what happened...I pretend for my mum's or dad's more like it.  
That it was my entire fault, I had annoyed Greyback. I made him bite me; I made him do such a thing. That I'm a monster because of what I did. I used to cry myself to sleep before Hogwarts.  
I used to actually blame myself, and not silently tell myself the truth I always knew.

I knew what actually happened, I knew all that. Of Course I did. I wasn't stupid. Hence why Sirius and James always remind me of my knowledge on most things. But I don't think I've actually told them what really had happened to me. I barley told James last year what went on at my house during the summers.  
James had suggested I move out or run away like Sirius did this year.

But I could not bring myself to ever desert my mother. After all she had been the one keeping my father from murdering me when he had his chances. I also know that my father, and whatever he does do, he does it to my mum. She looks worse every time I come home. A little more silent and for longer every time.

She swears black and blue that my father has nothing to do with it, she blames it on all the work and all the Muggle women. (What a lode of shit.) I know my mum better than anyone and this was only what she seems to be like, but underneath I know she's cried when my dad has not been watching.

I can't find the courage to stand up to my father yet, James has told me on a number of accounts that it was about time I stood up for myself and my mum. But his words hurt...Yes I know I appear to sound like a pansy and I don't care. The famous saying is **"Sticks and Stone may break my bones but words can't harm me." **What another lode of shit, I always hurt and sticks and stones kind of do hurt but I've felt worse. AND I also know how words do harm you. So what is the Muggle saying?

Trying to teach us to be strong and those words will never harm us. What the bloody hell?  
Words hurt, and I always seem to be the victim of them. Things like 'You're a monster' or 'you did this to yourself' hurtful things.

James always comforts me the week I choose to visit him. When no one is around, he tells me my father's a git and I don't know why, but I always defend my father. Stating he's right and that 'You' have no right to call him a git. I have no clue why but I just feel it's my duty to defend my father when he's not around to do it himself.

I know deep down, Dad regrets what happened that night...But he can never forgive himself. So he brings the anger out, I do wish I wasn't the closest thing to him when he gives in to his anger, or the reason why he can't look me in the eye.

I want to go to my dad and tell him I forgive him. Maybe that all he needs? My forgiveness? It's worth a try. We could mend it...or maybe hes just like any other jerk/bastard living on this earth.  
Maybe he really does hate what I've done to his pure line? But what can I say?

I wasn't the one who married mum, a Muggle. Yet he doesn't hate me for being a Half-Blood only that imp officially a Half-Breed. It pains me inside, like it always has.

I'm never going to be good enough, no matter what I tell myself. I want to say 'He loves me' and all the things _normal_ family do and say. Like James' okay, they are not and I repeat not normal. But at least they hug and tell each other they love each other. James is reluctant all the time to do so, but you can tell the love. With my Father you never can tell.

Maybe this is all useless. No one will ever love me. I'm a Monster. I've repeated that enough times, but it's true, at least in my eyes. I look around at my friends, I know it's wrong. But I also doubt our friendship. It was going to happen, the doubt was always there, I just never let myself believe it.

I glanced over at Sirius, for some reason I end up looking back at my bedside table. Which held some of the chocolate left there still. For some odd reason or another all my doubt washes away at the thought of Sirius caring. I don't know why that happens; it never does with the other two I need them to say it or I'll never believe it.

I decide I won't be going back to sleep, too chicken too. I pick up my book which was next to the chocolate and open it up to the page I placed my book mark in and smiled softly to myself as my eyes read along the page.

I lie back down and read a while longer, as I move the book aside a bit I smile softly to myself watching Padfoot sleeping... As Sirius rolled over a bit, I begin to find myself thinking he's rather cute when he sleeps, he looks more peaceful here then I've really ever seen him.

One last smile graces my lips as I close my eyes, nightmares already long forgotten at the sight of my best friend...?

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is the first Marauders Era i have done and i do hope you like it. Tell me the things i should change or add. And also i'd love to know if you liked this, if so i'll write a second chapter. Reviews are great :) Thanks in advance.


	2. Always There

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing and I'm getting no profit from this. The world of Harry potter and all the characters you recognise in this story belongs to the beautiful J.._

**Authors Notes: **I'm sorry I've taken a while at updating. My life's been a bit busy and with all the assignments...So here's Chapter two! I hope you like it!

**The Reason for all that I do. **

**Chapter 2: **Always there...

"Moony?" "Hmm." I look up from my book and look at my best friend who seems to look troubled.  
"How do you do this? I don't get this stupid class." I shake my head amused, that's the Padfoot we all know. Always needing help. "Why did you put this class down then Pads?" "Because." He huffed.

"Because...?" I gesture for him to continue yet he shakes his head at me. "Because you're in it." My heart flutters at the words. How sweet was that?

I shake my head to erase my thoughts and look at him, avoiding eye contact bit though.  
"Padfoot..." I start and he looks back up from the Divination book. Sirius is giving me those very cute puppy dog eyes. He always wants help...yet I can't find it in my heart to say no. "Okay." I sign.

So that's exactly what I did, I moved my chair closer to him, looking up hoping professor can't see me moving closer. "It's not that bad..." I whisper and he looks at me like I'm a mad man. I chuckle softly "Like this." I say and moved to look at his book and looked at his parchment.

"That's what's wrong, you do not know how to take notes right." I say trying not to laugh at my best friend being hopeless. Sirius mocks being hurt, placing a hand on his heart. "Oh Moony! That hurt." He said in a low voice.

I try not to chuckle as James comes out of nowhere. "Be careful, Professor keeps glancing over here."  
"Ooh...Prongs is the new Moony." "Um...I'm Moony clearly and why so...I don't know...aware, Prongs?" I ask. "Because." He shrugs. I hate that about my friends you have to ask them more than once or they'll only give you the simple answer 'because'. It's slightly infuriating if I say the least.

"Because?" I gesture for him to continue. "Because, let's leave it at that. Before Professor gives us detention." That starts Sirius up again though. They bicker for ages, getting louder by the minute.

The Professor clears their throat to get their attention. I know what is about to happen. The horror on James' face though... Hilarious, I try not to laugh as I know they're about to be scolded and given detention.

"Mr. Potter, what're you doing?" I see James gulp and stare at the one person who seems to be able to ruin his life with one word; Detention. Why does it bother him? Now? After all this time...

"Yes?" The Professor asks again. James is frowning almost. "A-Asking for help." "Is that so?" I see James nod. I look between them, always at the person who speaks when they speak. "Help from Mr. Black?" "Yes..." "Hmm..." The professor seems to be thinking. Sirius takes it offensively. You can see it on his face. "From me? Because I am not as dumb as you think." Though I could have sworn I heard him say it out loud. And my suspicions were confirmed by an appalled Divation Professor. "Excuse me Mr. Black?" "I am not dumb." He said through gritted teeth. James looks like he was struggling with something.

"Um Professor...?" "Yes Mr. Potter?" "It was me, I talked, Sirius just tried to ignore me. I – I was the one...saying 'I'm not dumb'...So, yeah..." I know he's struggling with his words, because if he gets a detention something is bound to happen. Yet he did it for Sirius...Why?

"That's it!" It hollered the classroom. "MR. POTTER, DETENTION!" I sink a bit. Because of the look on James' face. "Yes." He's sinking more in his chair. But I think it's because he's just lost something. What? I cannot make out by his facial expression. Though he looks defeated...

"Okay! Class! Class!" Professor is shouting over the whispers of what James just did.

"Class! Now, we have an assignment due...in two weeks. Listen on what it will be about." I hate divination, not my favourite. But I want to make my father proud. I wish I could make both my parents proud, but with mum leaving when I was six, it wasn't easy.

Every summer I go to my father and tell him what I've got so far, or I write him a letter. He sounds so proud of me. I remember when he did not want me to go to Hogwarts, he said it wasn't safe. He always wanted to protect me. I remember when I told him I had friends, he was so happy to hear that.

"Moony..." I heard Padfoot's voice and I looked around and to my astonishment he was close...  
He was right there, beside me. I shifted a bit uncomfortable by the closeness. He knew I liked my space between people. The only time I let anyone close enough to me is only in a hug.

I look at him like he knew that I was thinking the very thing I was. But he only moved closer. "So Can you help me or not?" That's when I realize he's holding up the Divination Assignment. How did I not notice?

I knew he was going to copy off me, it was inevitable. I look at his puppy dog face and his pout. He looks cute like that. I notice him look around. "Theres no one in here-" When I look at him he's transformed into a dog and sat on my lap. I could have sworn he was trying to make me help him. Which I would do anyway because he's my best friend and I can't have him fail before we even graduate.

Now can I?

I roll my eyes amused by Sirius. "Padfoot, Get off ME!" I say and chuckle. That's when I hear a noise.  
I eyes dart to the stairs and then at the portrait hole wear my eyes land on an unimpressed James. He must be back from his detention. I still don't know why he was upset. Worse than normal.

"Guys! You are going to get us killed! Remus, you're supposed to be the logical one! Why'd you let Sirius transform into a dog, in _here_." "I'm sorry mum." I laugh "But I cannot tell him what to do." I said scratching Sirius behind his ear.

He always liked that, even when he never told James. I look down to see a very satisfied dog, though I know that it's Sirius. "But-" "Okay, okay I get where you are coming from. But you have to admit Sirius looks cute like this? Better than his normal self?" I smirk knowing Sirius would transform back and act "offended". Though James and I don't think that's possible, when Sirius _should _know we're only messing.

But when Sirius doesn't transform back and he goes limp, I look at him and deep in his eyes actually states he was offended. I frown and James was on it in a heartbeat, he sat next to us on the table. I look at Sirius wondering what he'd do. And he just jumps off me and transforms back.

I see behind that fake grin and James doesn't by the looks of things. "Did you really think I was?" Sirius is laughing. _Laughing_? "Yeah..." I say like I got the joke and here I am laughing at something I don't get?

"Really?" Sirius is laughing louder. "Okay, Okay..." I said and he looks at me. "Want help with that assignment or what Mr I'm Cute and hilarious." "Did you just say I was cute Moony?" I freeze at Sirius' words and a blush creeps up on my cheeks and I avoid looking at him and in his eyes.

"N-No." I stutter. I'm no Peter, but I just stuttered. I clear my throat. "Sirius, T-The Assignment, want help or what?" "Oh...Yeah..." though for once Sirius doesn't know what to say. When I look at him it's as if life was taken from beneath him. He doesn't look happy just sad. I frown.

Did I offend him?

He recovers in no time and he sits down as I knew I'd be doing the work and not him. Even if it was _his_ and not _mine_. I shake my head amused by him as I change my work into his different words. Though I know this is wrong, but I can't ever let Sirius fail. He always knows how to make me smile when I don't even know why I'm sad. James never knew how to cheer me up so it's always Sirius.

Always, He's my best friend and knows me better. I can't imagine a life without Sirius. I smile softly to myself. He's _always_ going to be there when I need him the most, I know that now...

Always there...

* * *

**Authors Notes: **_I hope you liked this chapter. Please Review :) _


	3. Caught Out

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing and I'm getting no profit from this. The world of Harry potter and all the characters you recognise in this story belongs to the beautiful J.._

**Authors Note: I am so sorry for it being **_**this **_**late. I've been extremely busy and then there was no inspiration for it. So with saying that, hope you like it. Review. :) And please if you do have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. **

**The Reason For All That I Do. **

**Chapter 3: **Caught Out

I hear a groan and look up from my History Of Magic book and see the one person I wanted to see and talk to. He stood there in front of me ruffling his hair a bit. He's adorable when he does that. Reminds me why he is _so much_ like his Animagus.

Of course I don't verbal these thoughts. But he is adorable, at least to me. I smile softly watching him walk over and plop down on the bench next to me. I know that Lunch is about to end. But a little conversation with the boy won't hurt anyone?

He returns the smile and my heart flutters and my breath is caught in my throat. "Hey." That's all he had to say and I'm staring at his lips. "Rem? Remus, Moony? Remus?" I shake my head out of the thoughts of what those lips can do instead of talking and I look back at him. "Y-Yes?" I cannot believe I am stuttering! I did that two nights ago! What's going on?

"You zoned out! Right when I said hello too!" It seemed slightly annoyed. "What do you have to say?" I look at him puzzled. What did I have to say? I'm confused...He signed heavily "I know that you are the one who apologises, but why no apology for me?" He seemed hurt and I look at him, deep in his eyes.

The exact same blue-grey ones I'm forever finding myself lost in. I don't know...It was just his eyes. You always find yourself getting lost in them. There are so many secrets in them. His face shows that what you see is so far from the truth. Because one glance at his eyes and you just know.

He's always been the kid who's always misunderstood. I guess we are both like that. But he's so different to me yet the same. How is that?

I find myself asking myself questions I can never answer myself. But I never speak them, even when I know Sirius is the one with the answers. He's my best mate. I know that we did not exactly get along when we were younger. But since them we have become quite close.

Well at leats this year we have...it's different in a way. I don't know. The air around us is different from last year. I know something has changed. Especially in his eyes...he sees it too. But I know he does not voice all his thoughts. He never does. Only when he's angry and they float out.

I smiled subconsciously to myself at the thought of us gaining a stronger friendship. Even if that sounds different and not the right word for it. I'll take all I can get, at least when it involves Sirius. Why? Don't ask me...I cannot explain the feeling. It's so...different.

I don't know...I look at him and he's staring at me. Immediately my cheeks and down my neck heats up. I can feel it burning its way down my neck and down my chest as he continues to stare.

I don't think Sirius has caught on that I'm looking at him and that I caught _him_.

"Padfoot..." His eyes meet mine and a wide smile spreads across his lips. "Yes, Rem?" "Um..." I fiddle with my book and look down at it before looking back up at Sirius. His wide smile no longer exists. At least not right now.

"Umm?" He gestures for me to go on. "Well...Where's James?" I ask out of nowhere and maybe too...loud. He seems a little taken aback by my outburst. But He smirks and points behind me. I turn around, and there _he_ is and I'm staring at him rather bewildered.

"Yes Moony?" James is mirroring Sirius. I look side to side, at both of them. I stop back at James, "Just wondering..." I shrug. I barley regain colour and I know that. Before I was _too_ red and now...

"You are pale, man." James commented and gestures for me to move over and I look at Sirius a bit fearful but I oblige and look back at James. "How am I pale?" I raise one of my eyebrows. "You must have thought I wouldn't _pop_ out of nowhere." James chuckles. "You know Prongs. I've never seen him _this_ pale." Sirius points to me and I just turn a deep shade of crimson.

The boys stare at me funny and then laugh. "You look like..." They can't even finish their sentences because they're laughing uncontrollably and clutching their sides. "Oh...Moony...That's hilarious!" Sirius' barking laugh is the loudest. I only grew redder.

"As much as...This is funny. I need to go to the Quidditch Pitch. Anyone want to watch me practice? Or actually want to get on a broom?" It was directed to me when James had finally recovered. We decide that we might as well watch him. But I don't plan on doing that.

And somehow Sirius does not either...

* * *

We are currently walking to the Quidditch pitch. Girls only look at me when I am next to James and/or Sirius. But when I turn and realise it's still on Sirius. He's smirking, winking and mouthing things at the girls. I sign and roll my eyes.

But there is this feeling in my stomach. I clench my fists a bit. My face goes red and not out of embarrassment. Out of anger and I find myself glaring at the girls. I send them daggers. I shake my head at them. They seem afraid of me and they better be!

I am quite horrible to be around when I am upset. I know that I may look stupid. I'; stopped walking and let James go ahead. Yet I don't see Sirius walk and I'm too upset to comment. But he _does_: "Jealous Much." Sirius' breath is on my neck and I knew I'd regret it if I turn around.

He did not know how correct he was.

"You'll get attention from Girls, sometime...promise." Theres some hidden emotion in that but when I turn around he's smirking. So I shrug "I'm fine with none thanks." I snap at him and storm off in the direction of the Quidditch Pitch where I'd find James.

Which I do find him and he's staring at me like I'm misisng something. I look around me an dthen back at him.

"Where's Sirius?" that's the first thing the guy notices? Shit! "I don't know." I said grumpily. "Do you want to talk about it?" "No."


	4. Another Side Of You

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing and I'm getting no profit from this. The world of Harry potter and all the characters you recognise in this story belongs to the beautiful J.._

**Authors Note: So I thought I'd treat you with two chapters tonight. I know both are some-what short. But I think that at least theres two chapters here for you. I know that I'll be busy a lot. The Weekends is all I have. But Sometimes I use that for studying also. So I do apologise if the next chapter after this is longer than a week away. And saying all this, Hope You like you. Please Review!**

* * *

**The Reason For All That I Do. **

**Chapter 4: **Another Side Of You

"Padfoot..." I trail off at the sight of my best friend _reading_? That is not normal, especially not for _him_. He hates the Library, barley picks up a bloody book! "Yes Remus?" Theres that wide smile again. The one I saw Yesterday. It's plastered on his face. I hope it stays there. At least for a while...

It gives me a good feeling inside when I know that it's directed at me and not anyone else. I rarely see that smile. I now realise that he's waiting, patiently. _Patiently_? Dear God, someone take him to the Hospital Wing. Is he feeling okay?

I know it's late and maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. But he's reading and it's a History book. I shake my head at him. "I'm Impressed!" I say smirking as I sit down beside him. I could have sworn he's not that pale, but he's gone red and you never see Sirius Orin Black Blush!

I sit down on the couch next to him. I know I shouldn't have been up at around...I looked down at my wrist. Right, I took my watch off to go to bed tonight...or last night?

I look at the clock in the common room. It's around two. I look at Sirius and he seemed sleepy. "Why are you up?" Because I know we both shouldn't be up. We both are in our boxers. I don't know why I decided to sleep like this last night. Maybe because it was hot then and now it's slightly cold.

He notices my shivers and wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest. "Remus..." He whispered. "You're freezing." He comments and I can't help but melt into his touch with a smile. I nod a bit and his grip tightens. "You may look hot in those boxers, all the girls will be after you, but you are freezing." Sirius murmurs and I look up at him.

"D-Do you mean it?" He nodded slowly; he did not need to be told what for. He knew what I meant.

"You are cold still though." His breath is on my neck and I can already feel my body heating up form the inside out. It's like this is a dream and maybe it is. Was I drunk? I couldn't be...I don't drink. I'm the responsible Marauder. But Sirius seems content in the position we are in.

He's smiling, maybe he nicked a few Firewhisky and _he's_ drunk? Wouldn't be possible. If he did, James would never let him live it down for not sharing. I shrug, why think? It's too late to think and my head hurts.

I was studying before I went to bed. That's enough thinking for one night (Morning technically.) I look at Sirius and he smiled softly at me. It's a one of a kind Sirius Black smiles. One you rarely see. Though I'm honoured that it's directed at me and that _I_ caused it. And no one else.

I feel a flutter in my chest, I find myself liking that smile. A lot more than normal. It's the greatest smiles I've ever seen. And _he's_ wearing it, It's _his_ smile.

* * *

After an hour or so, Of just snuggling in each other's embrace, talking and laughing. I tell him we better head to bed and he obliged and did not even protest.

It's not him or maybe it is? The side you rarely ever get to see on Sirius. I think I like this side, if only he _always_ acted like this. Quiet and showed the emotion he felt when he did and gave genuine smiles that weren't amused ones but purely happy ones.

This is the Sirius Black I long to see more of.

Why were you hiding? That's the last thing I ask myself before I roll over in my bed, away from the view of him and close my eyes with a smile.


	5. It's Simply Because I Am Your Friend

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing and I'm getting no profit from this. The world of Harry potter and all the characters you recognise in this story belongs to the beautiful Joanne Rowling. _

**A/N: _I've been trying to write this chapter for a couple of days, but I've had bad writer's block. So I do hope you like it. Please don't forget to Review. :) Reviews are my friends! Also, if you guys had any pairing you'd like me to do, don't be shy. PM me and If I like the pairing, or even have any ideas for it, I may put one up. The Next Story Will Be For You! (The ones who review, or PM me a pairing.) _**

**Reason For All That I Do**

**Chapter 5: **It's Simply Because I Am Your Friend

The bell rang and I started to pack my things up. Sirius had already finished packing and was standing there smiling kindly at me, he was waiting for me. I felt like he actually cared and would wait hours if I needed that time.

I looked up at him and I think his smile mirrored on me too. We were just smiling and staring at ecahother. It was like nothing else would, could or really even mattered, as long as it was him and me.

But our short staring contest was interrupted by James: "Moony, Hurry up! Padfoot stop staring and help! You are silently tormenting him; I can see it in your eyes." But the very emotion that flashed through his eyes had to the exact opposite.

I frowned slightly and avoided his gaze. Perhaps, James may have been right; he was silently making fun of me, tormenting me, not the way I thought.

"Is anyone going to help me or what?" I try to contain my laughter as I put the last of my things into my bag. "Nope, you seem to have it taken care of." Sirius smirked at me. I grumble at him and he just sticks his tongue out at me.

I shake my head and sling my back loosely over my right shoulder and proceed to walk out of the Charms Classroom with my best friends on each side of me.

This was the last class before lunch but it wasn't lunch yet so I assumed the boys had some plan. Yet I heard none; we walked in silence.

I could no longer bear it, as I stopped and noticed Sirius had too and then James stops once he has realised this.

He looks at both of us before I can ask what the plan is Sirius speaks. "I'll meet you in the common room?"

I look at Sirius and I _know_ James has followed suit. Mirrored images of the same shocked, yet confused looks written on both of us, directed at Sirius. Yet he shrugged and turned to leave. He was gone after that; walking down the corridor out of sight.

I don't get him, at least not anymore. I thought two nights ago I had seen a new side of him, and that I could truly understand him. But when he all of a sudden says something surprising, it makes me ask myself the same questions as I always do, when he has done something surprising.

_Where did that come from?_

I don't know where it ever does; it just somehow _appears_ out of nowhere.

We as in, James and I walked towards the Quidditch Pitch (James' suggestion. He did not want to lose practice. I had only agreed if he let me read while he practices and not forced me to play. He reluctantly agreed upon the last thing).

* * *

We stayed out on the Quidditch Pitch for quite some time we missed lunch. I was quite hungry but I'd ignore my stomach, until at least dinner time.

"James! Are you ready now?" And in one swift moment James had landed on the ground and was now standing in front of me with a smile. His hair was messy just as it was when he just got of his broom (Might I add he does _actually_ look fucking sexy? I agree with the fangirls, not that I thought that exact way they _did_).

"Yes, geez moons."

I make a face at him and stick my tongue out before placing my book back in my bag and starting to walk away.

"Hurry up, Prongs!"

"I'm coming! Just let me put my broom away!" I give a small nod and continue my walk back to eth castle. I was starving and I had only one more class and then a free period, which of course Dinner came after that.

It was not long after that, that I was joined with James. We sent a faint smile at the other and continued the journey to the castle.

"Had fun-"

"You miss-"

"No-" "No-"

We chuckle and shake our heads. "You go first!" I said first of course.

"Okay well..." James said and shifted his feet across the ground before looking form the ground to me. "You missed lunch for me, when you clearly wanted to not play, why?"

"Because you are my best friend, that's why." I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Well you could have gone..." He trailed off maybe because he saw me shake my head at him. "No, I wouldn't just leave you like that."

"You wouldn't?" I could already see the clogs moving in his brain. I don't know why or how I could hear his heart beat suddenly speed up. I know my werewolf talents kick in some times but this is just ridiculous.

"I wouldn't." I just answered him and ignored the rest of my thoughts, at least for as long as I can. "Thanks, but I don't get why..."

"It's because you are my friend. What friend would I be if I didn't stay with you?"

I never got an answer but I knew he was really considering what I said. That was enough for me.

We walked the remaining journey to the castle side-by-side; I could tell we were just smiling for the sake of it. But you could tell we were happy and there was no actual reason behind it.

**A/N: **_**So I've made it a little bit of Remus/James, just to confuse our little pup Rem. Putting some confused moments in there. I also want to say I may or may not be posting teh next chapter next week, (Maybe before or after) I have my birthday party so I do hope that you all liked this chaper and are willing to wait a little while. I am so sorry. I don't know about you, but Reviews make me happy. How bout at least one? **_


	6. Cause We Needed This

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own the Marauders, (Wish I did though), it all belongs to Jo Rowling. No profit is being made from this._

**A/N: **_**This Chapter is more about Remus/James, and it's just a Chapter to help make the plot come through (And more importantly talk about a few of the things that are in the next chapter). I'm sure you'd like the next one, more Drama in that one. This one is about planting doubt in our little Remie's head. Making it easier to help him understand where he stands with everything and how he sees the world now, and more importantly how he sees James, (And Sirius :P) I hope you can stand by me with this one Chapter. I promise the next one will be better!**_

**Reason For All That I Do**

**Chapter 6: **'CauseWe Needed This

The next week or so it had been the same; Sirius disappeared (well told us he'd see us and then we'd question him and he'd shrug, it's like a little thing we rehearsed or something). But it was random times of the day.

James and I have grown worried over the last week or so; it was unnerving that he would just disappear. We had tried to search for him a few times. We also questioned him and he'd make up an excuse or he'd shrug and ascend the Boy's Dormitory stairs.

Right now James and I are seated in two chairs that our surrounding the circle table, in the Gryffindor Common Room. It's past ten and we have been out here for the last two hours, waiting for Sirius. He hasn't been around most of the day anyway. It's really worrying us.

The last two hours have really strengthened me and James' friendship. We needed this and that day on the Quidditch Pitch last week. We needed these times, alone. Just to get to know each other more. I was always the one shadowed by James and Sirius' friendship. I understand him now and he understands where I'm coming from. It's really helped us to know each other better.

I never thought I'd say it, but perhaps I could mean a lot more then 'That Werewolf' to Potter. He had assured me at least ten minutes ago that I wasn't just that Werewolf to him. I actually meant something to him. My heart fluttered. We've become closer and I don't regret it, and I don't care if it was because we were worrying about Sirius like two people who thought he'd just appear out of nowhere, dead.

We've been smiling for the last hour like idiots. I don't think this is about Sirius anymore. We've talked about our fears and talked more about our goals. We've also told each other how we believe we can no long fear the things we fear, how to overcome them. I think tonight really was needed. It's no longer about Sirius, and we couldn't care less.

* * *

By now we've spend most of the night down here. We've moved to the couch and are now seated more comfortably on the couch together. We are sharing old memories, as if we have forgotten or are afraid we will forget them.

I miss just talking with James alone; we needed this time alone together. Just to remember how it was before. How we were when it was James and I, Sirius and I had not become friends then. It was rare then to talk to James alone and privately, but now it's even rarer. Sirius is always there. But this last week he hasn't been, giving us the chance to be alone together.

"Remember that time we made Snevellius' pie blow up in his face..." James trailed off. He only brought up the ones I was the master mind behind. Which of course; this one was mine.

"James..." I said trying not to laugh; James' laughter was loud enough. It's at least past one and I don't think people would like to know that we are still up. McGonagall would have our heads. Well James' and then give me a disapproving and disappointed look to me.

"Let's head up to the dorm before McGonagall catches us." I said chuckling as I stand up from the warm position of the fire on my right and James' body warmth on my left. I frown at the sudden coldness on my left and the heat on my right. It was too hot standing directly in front of the fire and I knew my body already missed James' presence on the other.

"Okay, how 'bout Firewhisky?" I look at him and he sends me his best look. I swear it's the cutest look he pulls. "Okay." I find myself agreeing while he silently cheers, walking out of the Common Room to get us some. I gesture with my arms telling him I'd be up in the dorm when he got back.

* * *

**James' P.O.V **

He was exactly where he promised. He was seated on his bed, reading. I already hated the idea and smirked as an idea came to me. "Heads up!" He looked up and only barley moved the book out the way, as he barley caught the Firewhisky bottle. I'm glad he agreed and I didn't have to say 'I'd get you butterbeer' when he would already know I'd trick him and give him Firewhisky anyway. I gesture for him to follow and come over. I was walking back to my bed, his bed has the window which is showing the moon and I did not want him to be reminded of such bad memories.

He sits down next to me while I lean on the head board. I open up the Firewhisky bottle and take a long sip where as he takes his time in opening the bottle and taking a small sip instead of a long one. I laugh at him and he just smiles back.

We just continue our discussion on many things, sometimes we are re-telling one of our fond memories and other times we are just talking like Best Friends should. I understand him more now, I'm glad he came to me. I'm glad he told me that he felt left out when Sirius was around.

I made a mental note (if I'll be able to remember anything in the morning, I've already drowned at least two Firewhiskies tonight, Maybe more? I don't remember, I stopped counting yonks ago), to include Remus in on everything Padfoot and I do.

I know it's a lot later then the last time we checked the clock. But I sure know that it's not one anymore. Fuck, I bet it's a lot later. But I couldn't care less.

We couldn't. We've been talking for such a long time, but we needed it. We needed to remember what it was like to be Best Friends with someone who is completely different to you, yet you both hold the same morals. We both know that loyalty is important, we believe in the same things.

No matter how different we are, we are the same in some areas. And some of those mean something.

I know that this all started because we both were worrying about Padfoot, and that was at least seven or so hours ago. It's different now; it's about _us_ and how much we've missed just being alone. This is rare for us and we are taking it.

'Cause we needed this.


	7. Is She Better Than Me

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own the Marauders, (Wish I did though), it all belongs to Jo Rowling. I only own my OC: __Alyssa McBeth._

**A/N: **_Here's the next chapter, I've been a bit down and terribly sick, so I do apologise for being late. But I hope you like this next chapter; I'd love it if you could review. :) – Elyxx_

**Reason For All That I Do**

**Chapter 7: **Is She Better Than Me?

I've been worried about Padfoot more these last few days. I don't know he's more distant and he isn't raving about his _night of fun _anymore. Or whatever he thinks he can call them. We dare never ask, but he sure is never talking about it. Okay James hasn't spoken about Lily not since that night a couple of nights ago. You know that one where we were supposed to be worrying about Padfoot and just..._forgot _about everything for a while? Yes that one...

James hasn't even touched the topic _Lily Evans_. But I'm fine without his little rants about Lily. Like seriously, does he need to talk about her 24/7? No. But what worries me is Sirius, if he's finally stopped with girls, then you know he's either sick or finally gotten sick of _them._

I look over to the spot where James is seated. I got him to come to the library with me, yeah the shock the horror. Not really, though it took barley anything to get James to follow me. We'd just finished dinner and James was watching me read. Oddly enough he didn't look bored. I think he was pretending to so I'd give up on my reading and we'd go back to the common room.

Not a chance in hell, Potter.

I put my book down after sometime and smiled at James. "We shall go now." I said as if I could read his thoughts. He really didn't want to be here.

He jumped up without a second thought. "Let's go moons!" He said as I shook my head and walked to Madam Prince. I handed her my book and she checked it over before giving me it back. "Common room?" James nodded and we headed straight there.

As we took the nearest stairs up to the Gryffindor Tower, I turned my head to the side looking at James. He's been all...weird; I don't know what it is. But he's acting weird lately. He hasn't talked about/to Lily in ages as I've said, and that is just not James. He'll pass her in the halls and he'd do nothing. _Nothing_, it's scaring me. Maybe he's sick?

That wouldn't really explain why he's practically avoiding, or ignoring, the girl he _supposedly _loves? He wouldn't unless something has happened. But I doubt something has he would have told Sirius. But then again we can't find Sirius anywhere these days. I was thinking he would go off to shag some girl but James knew if he was, Sirius would have bragged about it then. I had of course suggested he wasn't proud of them (in saying they might not have been the best...) so he said nothing.

That's all I could come up with though. But James and I weren't ready for what we saw. Sirius was sitting on a table smiling _lovingly,_ or even _lustfully, _at a girl with blonde hair. I don't know what it was but the moment she looked up from her book (Did that mean they _studying_?), her grey eyes mirrored his. They looked like a couple in love, that's ridiculous though. Padfoot doesn't fall in love!

He's a Player!

He doesn't have any _real _feelings for a girl!

He doesn't _care_!

But the moment he went to lean in to kiss the girl I briefly know as Alyssa McBeth.

I can't handle it anymore!

I shake my head and mumble to James, "I can't believe him."

I run straight up the boys stairs. That must have gotten James' attention because he called for me and then just stopped. He started his yelling at Sirius I presume.

"WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST TOLD US? YOU KNOW HOW REMUS IS WHEN HE FEELS REJECTED! THAT'S WHAT YOU JUST DID!"

"Oi, it wasn't my fault! And what do you mean?"

"I don't fucking believe you!"

"What?"

"With McBeth too, could you really be so..."

"So?"

"BLIND!"

It all just stopped and I heard someone coming up the stairs, running. But I ignored it and continued to stare blankly at the wall. Nothing is passing through my senses I've shut off completely.

There's just this question I'm asking myself.

_Is she better than me? _

**A/N: **_I hope you liked this chapter; it's taken a little while. Thanks for staying this long and reading my story._

_I may not update again this weekend unless I get a review. _

_-Ely xx _


	8. Silent TreatmentMy Side Of The Story

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own the Marauders, (I wish I do, but sadly I don't), it all belongs to Jo Rowling._

**A/N: **_Thanks to __anon__ for reviewing!  
This chapter is dedicated to you! :)  
Also, I may be able to update faster than before because it's the holidays!  
So they won't be a week apart, probably only a couple of days. – Eli xx_

* * *

**Reason For All That I Do**

**Chapter 8: **Silent Treatment/My Side Of The Story

_**((Sirius' P.O.V))**_

It had been a bloody two weeks since they talked to me! (Let's not mention in two days is the Full Moon!) I hate the Silent treatment, why? Couldn't they just tell me what I did instead of 'Why are you so...Blind?' That's not even helpful! Can't they tell me what I did and then tell me what I should do to make it better? I don't know why, but James said something that made my heart ache, 'Remus hates rejection'. Did Remus think that I didn't want to be his friend anymore? I did, of course I did! But...I don't really know what made him feel rejected, what did? I just want to run up to him and ask him.

But to no avail, he won't go anymore than ten feet away from me. I don't get it. PLEASE JUST END MY MISERY! Remus avoids me at all costs and when he thinks I can't see him, he sends me a look of hurt, an expression that breaks my heart. I've always hated seeing him upset, but knowing _I _did it just makes it a while lot worse! But if he just told me what I did, I can send his pain. The key word is 'I', because I know, James can't help; I have to be the one to do it.

Remus doesn't listen to James when he's sad, he always comes to _me_ but knowing _I _put him like that makes it worse. He won't talk to me, and this is never going to be resolved! I want it resolved but maybe Remus doesn't want it as much as me?

I am currently walking towards my Transfigurations lesson. I don't' expect the boys look at me when I enter the classroom, nor do I expect them to acknowledge my existent, or let me sit next to them. So I just sit at the front of the classroom. It was also the only chair that I was eve allowed in, because at the back were the Marauders or someone who didn't want to see my face. So I was actually lucky when Alyssa let me sit next to her. I mumbled a 'thanks' and she nodded mumbling back: "I had to help, I did this." But what does she meant by that? She didn't do this; I put myself in this situation.

How?

I'll never know, unless Remus lets me in, and I have a feeling that won't happen. I just have to get him without James; he's like some body guard. It's pissing me off, fuck him anyway. The kid needs to give Moony some space! Just five minutes to ask him the question! Just five minutes...

My chance came after Potions, last class of the day. James had decided to stop and talk with, (How in the world?) concerned looking Evans. I caught my name but dismissed it for later. I now ran up to catch up with Remus. "Remus!"

He ignored me, bluntly. But I persisted, "Remus!"

After some silence he muttered 'Leave me alone' but I persisted nevertheless. "Remus talks to me." I took a hold of his arm but he yanked my grip off, damn is Werewolf strengths! It gets me so mad! "Moon-Beam listens to me." I begged and that's when I get a response, he turns around, but not for the reason I hoped. "Don't call me that!" He said angrily, but I noted he sounded more broken than anything else. I could see tears forming in his eyes.

"Moons, don't cry, not because of me."

"You don't deserve anyone to cry over you! You are just a player!" He spat, I was hurt and I knew he could tell because his features softened ever so slightly. "Is...Is this what this is about? Because I dated a lot of girls. I never cheated on them when I was with them! I have more dignity than that!" "Then why didn't you tell me about McBeth?" He asked sobbing now; I frowned and fought back the urge to wrap my arms around him.

"Because, I'm not even with her. Not even shagging her." I chuckled hollowly, and his sad amber eyes fixed themselves upon me. "W-What? Is this...T-True?" I nodded because it was, we weren't even dating, and it was purely for help. I'll never admit what made me suddenly chose to get tutored but a pretty girl I had no interest what so ever in.

"I'm sorry if you felt like I rather spend time with her then you, I rather hang out with you but..."

"But?" He seemed more hurt by the 'but'.

"I wanted...wanted...to..." But I was interrupted by James. "You made him cry you Prat!" I looked at him and tried to explain: "You don't..." "I DO! LEAVE REMUS ALONE!" He shouted, and I stepped back because we were now causing a scene. Everyone was circling around us. So I just gave in, "I SAID SORRY! JUST PISSS OFF _Potter_! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! I WANTED TO SPEAK TO REMUS ALONE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE AROUND HIM _EVERY _FUCKING MINUTE! HE HAS HIS OWN LIFE! WHY THE _FUCK _ARE YOU KEEPING US A PART?" "Because all you ever _fucking _do is hurt people! Remus deserves better, and you _clearly _aren't better!" I was hurt and I knew my mask of anger had slipped and everyone saw it.

I was shattered and I shook my head, "You saw it from the wrong point of view." I said calmly wilding away the anger and hurt. "McBeth and I were studying-" "You think I fucking believe that?" I shook my head and held up hand to finish my explanation, he grumbled but stayed quiet other than that. "We were studying; I told her I need help. I did, I wanted to show I wasn't as stupid as you both joke around about, you always say 'Sirius is so stupid' I admit it hurt! I wanted to tell you so, but i decided I'd prove you both wrong. But it didn't matter what _you _thought. It was _Remus _that counted._ I_ am supposed to be helping _him_ not him trying to help _me_." I said and James was shocked and when turned to my left, Remus was nowhere to be found. I looked at James helplessly, "So you are saying...You...y-you took our jokes to heart..." He whispered and I sadly and shamefully nodded, but then I was tumbled over and no James wasn't hurting me either then crushing me in a bone crushing hug.

"I'm so sorry Pads!" I hugged back a little less bone-crushing but I still held him tightly. But there was just this...feeling, this weird feeling about this hug. I felt my cheeks heat up just a tad, "James..." I gasped, "Can't...breathe!" "Oh sorry!" He blushed crimson and stood up helping me up along with him. I looked at James and he was averting his eyes from me, yep, I had indeed seen that blush. But now I didn't feel as weird for blushing, even if it was a tad, it was still there.

"Remus?" He suggested clearing his thought I nodded and walked off. Little did I know James hadn't followed me. I found him in the Library reading, yet i saw the frown on his face, he wasn't even really reading. I pulled out a chair and sat across from him, I decided to get to the point. "Why'd you walk off?" "You and James made up yet?" "Don't answer my questions with questions." "Smart." "What?" "You are already smart..." He mumbled moving the book, ah, it was the answer to my first question, or not.

"Um...then why - ?" "Because, we just joke around for fun. Sometimes your ideas are brilliant and then they are stupid...it's just a part of your personality." "And here I was actually smiling." I said. "But why'd you have to prove yourself...and not to James...but...to _me_?" "You're my best friend..." "One of them." He corrected as if he thought I forgot James! Idiot. "There's an observation of you being stupid, you forget about James." "Maybe I did it purposely." I said defensively and then he signed.

"You should tell James you don't think he's your best friend. He'll be cut, but that's the truth." "Maybe...He's my best friend and you're my..." I thought about it before saying, "Best Best Friend." I smirked to see his puzzled look. He then shook his head laughing, "You. Are. An. Idiot. Padfoot." Remus laughed at me.

"But you love me." I pouted and he shook his head with a wide smile.

I saw him go crimson but I ignored it and laughed along with him.

**A/N: **_Thanks for reading, tell me if you liked it: Review. :) Eli xx _


	9. Secret Smiles

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own the Marauders; it all belongs to Jo Rowling. No profit is being made from this. _

**Reason For All That I Do**

**Chapter 9: **Secret Smiles

I look to my left and smile softly at Sirius, he's snoring, but that's not what makes me smile. It's his presence that makes me smile, it's a little weak (but what do you expect it's the Full Moon tomorrow, I'm starting to get real ill, and I know everyone around me is seeing it too). We were supposed to be studying but he has just come back from _another _detention. What would I expect from him after detention? A snog? A kiss? His attention? Actually yes, I need his attention.

I looked over at his face and suddenly think kissing him isn't so bad. He's peaceful and it's not like he'd notice, would he? He's a heavy sleeper, right? So he wouldn't know if I just lean down and place a gentle kiss to his lips that look so soft. Girls have said he's a good kisser, maybe I should just...try?

I'm curious, that's all, I'm trying to prove a theory, yeah, that's it. But why do his lips suddenly seem so...kissable? I was kidding before! I was kidding about the snog and kissing bit. I need his attention but not _that _kind of attention. Y'know? I'm his friend; I can't have _that _kind of attention, not from him. Why do I feel upset about not being able to taste them? I shouldn't even _want _to, but they're right there and they look like they are teasing me. But then again, he is snoring and I will probably make him unable to breathe if I do even kiss him. Which now that my common sense is coming back, is a bad idea, and I don't know which part of me even suggested the stupid idea!

I'm just tired, yeah?

I place my hand on Sirius' shoulder and gentle shake him. He has to wake up and get to his bed. So he doesn't have a crook neck in tomorrow. "No...No...Please...Moon-" Sirius bolstered right up and wiped the drool off the corner of his mouth. "Moony? Where am I?" "The common room." I smirk at him. "But...you were dreaming about the Moon weren't you?" I frowned at him. "No. I was...dreaming about...You... and Prongs." Sirius said hesitantly. "It was about the moon. Don't lie." Sirius shook his head frantically at me, "No! I swear! It was just about you! No moon! I promise!" I was staring dumbstruck at him by the moment he said 'It was just about you'.

"Uh, um, I met it as...um...we...we were...Playing exploding snap!" Sirius said, his voice a little too high, and he didn't sound at all calm or rational, or anyone who knew what was going on. He looked..._panicked_? Why? Maybe I shouldn't have questioned him so much...woops.

"Are you okay Sirius?" I asked, but out of nowhere come James from the dorm. "I have practice anyone coming? I don't care that you're playing exploding snap. It doesn't look like it though." James laughed. I laugh with him, "I suppose not, Sirius _dreamt _that part. He was supposed to be studying." James laughed again, "You fell asleep and dreamt about playing Exploding Snap?" "And oddly enough, I was happy, because Moony was losing!" Sirius was recovering fast. Damn.

"Fuck, you were beating Moony? I want to see that in real life." I frowned at James. "But Quidditch first! It awaits me!" James was gone in a flash of unruly black hair; I shook my head, of course, Quidditch first. Typically James. Sirius laughed, he turned to me and shook his head, and replied "Actually, you were...er..._beating _me." I realise there was some hidden meaning behind that, but I ignored it. Sirius never made sense, not even in English. And that is saying something!

I actually like the idea that in one day we can become friends again, I think it's because the moon is approaching and it wouldn't be good if I was in a bad mood, Moony may have his own ideas... And I don't think waiting to transform into a monster with a horrible mood, and missing Sirius would just make it worse. I do think Moony and Padfoot are friends though, it sounds absurd, but I think maybe it's a canine thing.

"Are you coming Remie?" I shake my head out of my thoughts and nod at him as I stand up. "Yes! Coming!" I jog towards the portrait, where Sirius stands, I smile at him widely and he sends back a secret smile, hmm... "Okay, let's go."

We head off to the Quidditch Pitch to watch James practice, _again_.

Sirius and I got there ten minutes later than James would have liked us to. James was already in the air practicing with, um, who? Who is that beside him? I think it was the Prewett twins and I think the other person is Marlene McKinnon. I shook my head, "Whatever." I muttered. It was weird seeing James practicing with half of the team. Sirius should be up there, but he doesn't want to be. It makes me feel special when he said on the up here that he rather sit here and talk to me then practice.

See that was practically the whole team, Gideon Prewett as the keeper. Fabian Prewett as one of the beaters. Marlene and James as the chasers. We only needed Sirius up there as the other beater. But what happened to our Seeker?

I shake my head I can't be bothered finding them. I sit down on one of the stands and look over at Sirius with a smile. "Y'know you should be up there." "Nah, I rather spend my time with you." "Well..." "See, no retort. Because you refuse to see I care." I look at him that was James' sentence he always says when I'm in doubt. Well the 'you refuse to see we care', not, I, why did he say 'I'?

I decide I don't care. "Whatever." "You like that word name don't you." "You are annoyingly persistent." "I'm awesome." He grinned and I rolled my eyes. But I found his eyes are too beautiful not to look at them, his eyes lit up when he grins. But then there are these off-times and his smile doesn't meet his eyes. James is oblivious to those ones and only sees the smile. I, being the one who looks more than once, I always see the sadness in his eyes at those times. It's either Family inflicted or other things.

"You know Moony. You are awesome."

"What?"

"Awesome. You are loyal, clever, and funny, do you want me to keep going? You never see what I see do you?" "What?" "Stop whating me." "That's not a word Padfoot." "I don't give a-" "Alright." I stop him before he swears. "Fuck." He smirks at me and I shake my head disappointedly at him. "No swearing Padfoot!" "Would you rather Padfoot?" "What?" "There you go again. Am I speaking gibberish or something?" "No...ummm...yes?" "Why are you talking in question?"

"You are too."

"Stop that Moon-Beam!" I roll my eyes at his new nickname.

"Why do I have a new nickname?"

"It's my secret nickname for you."

"What? Why?"

Sirius shrugged and I sent him a secret smile. I secretly liked the nickname, it's _his _nickname. No one else uses it but him.

**A/N: **_Okay the updates from now on are going to be extremely slow. I'm going to focus on my other stories for a while. Like __**My Many Ways To Tell You, 'I Love You'**__, __**My Stubborn Boy**__, and my new one: __**Letters To My Brown Eyed Beauty**__. You should go check those out if you haven't already! __**My Many Ways To Tell You, 'I Love You'**__ is a One Direction story. __**My Stubborn Boy**__ is a Draco/OC. __**Letters To My Brown Eyed Beauty**__ is a Next Generation story as an Albus Severus/OC :)_

_Also thanks for sticking around with this story it's been nine Chapters! Wow. Thanks for every review I have gotten so far. But that doesn't mean you have to stop reviewing ;) I love them nevertheless. _

_Thank you all! _

_Ely xx _


End file.
